One of the most therapeutic things I can do is throw clay on a wheel (throwing is the term used for the process of forming a piece of pottery on a pottery wheel). I love it! Even if the result is a collapsed lump of clay, the process is so relaxing! I've started renting space at a pottery studio in Port Richmond, Philly just to decompress every few days. Even if I'm the only person in the studio, I'm continually reminded that I'm not alone. God has been revealing a ton to me through the process of throwing.
To share with you what some of those things are, please bear with my through a short pottery tutorial. The most crucial part of throwing on a wheel is centering the ball of clay. If the clay is not truly centered, the finshed piece will be distorted and uneven. It seems pretty simple, but there can even be the slightest wobble in the clay before going forward in the formation. It takes patience, strength and an unwaivering hand. Water is constantly poured over the clay to avoid over-drying. Through this process of raising leveling the clay, the artist really becomes one with the clay: every movement is in sync. Once this is done, the potter can open the centered clay and start to form the walls of the vessel. After the walls are formed, before going any further in the formation, recentering must take place. This step requires even more patience, skill and gentleness at the hands of the potter. Only when the piece is completely recentered can the potter go forward in his vision for the vessel.
The other day, I was on the wheel and I simply could not get a piece of clay centered. When I finally got it centered, opened up the center of the clay, and began forming the walls it got way off center again. I then began to recenter, but the stubborn clay would just not cooperate. In my frustration, I heard God say:
"I am the potter, you are the clay."
Wow! In humble submission, I let my hands go and watched the clay collapse. It was ready to be reworked.
We are the clay! How often I am stubborn and won't yield to the Hands of the Potter. I won't allow Him to recenter me to His will. Everyday I need to be recentered, drenched in His living water and yield to His patient, skilled hands. We are in a constant process of formation. The Potter knows what He is forming. He has the vision of the process and the finished piece. He is patient, and never gives up on the work He is doing! May we all be clay in the Potter's Hand: constantly centered, in sync with the work of His hands, and covered in the Living Water!
It has been a long time since my last update. A lot has been going on since I returned from Swaziland. In June, I moved back up to Philly for what was supposed to be a two-month trip to raise the last of my funds for Africa. It's now been five months and I'm still here! I picked up two jobs: barista by day, server by night and the rest of the time I'm sleeping.
In September, I began to pray about the timing of my plans. God has burdened me with a vision for Africa and I just want to get up and go. I've been realizing that sometimes the road God wants us to walk is not exactly a straight one. As I turned to the Word, I kept going back to some of the major players in Biblical history.
God gave Moses the task of delivering His people from their oppressors. Moses got to work immediately after receiving his mission: he killed an Egyptian soldier! That wasn't what God has in mind, but Moses went forward with God's work the best way he knew how. It wasn't until forty years later that He found out
how God wanted to use Moses to deliver His people. And it was forty years after they left Egypt that they actually set foot on God's promised land! Not exactly a straight path.
I then studied the path of Nehemiah. God's task for Nehemiah was to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem. At that point in history, the area was in shambles, the wall was rubble and most importantly, God's people had slumped into a complacent lifestyle of disgrace and dishonor. Nehemiah's task was not simply to raise a structure, but to raise up God's people to embrace their identity and place as the people through whom God would eventually bring the Messiah into the world. He faced enormous hurdles, opposition, and of course, the scorn of his own people. God had plans that may not have been the most logical from skeptical onlookers. Nehemiah became a servant to King Artaxerxes, the very man who would not allow the Israelites to rebuild the wall. After some time, his strategic placement and due diligence paid off. He began to rebuild the wall and rebuild the nation.
Abraham. Noah. Paul. Jesus. I am realizing that sometimes the hardest part of a vision is the preparation and the perseverance to overcome obstacles. The path God has chosen for me does not look like it did this time last year. I thought my biggest obstacle was support raising but I have realized that I am still in a season of preparation. After much prayer, I have decided to go back to school to finish my degree in art therapy. This is not a step away from the vision God has placed on my heart, but a necessary building block to go forward in that vision with excellence.
I will not continue to be employed by AIM as I go back to school, but will hopefully continue to be involved with the ministry (leading trips, etc). I truly love the ministry of this organization and the family I have grown a part of. I miss it already! Although I will not need financial support until I go back on the field, please continue to be a part of this vision God has laid on my heart for Africa! It's hard for me to be here when everything in me is burning to be there! Please pray for focus and perseverance (many of you know that those two things are very difficult for me), clarity as I step into the unknown and peace. I will continue to send updates and keep you posted. Thank you for sticking with me through this time and for all your support over the past two years!
Have you ever had a thorn in your flesh?
Not speaking metaphorically here, it hurts!
While I was in Swaziland, I learned how to drive a motorbike; or rather, started to learn.
I zoomed around a soccer field a few times on my first lesson (after about 10 stalls of trying to get it into first).
The second lesson was a little less successful.
I went through a thorn bush, into a ravine and landed with the bike on top of my right leg.
With a crowd gathered around, I brushed myself off, felt a cold wetness on my leg and calmly walked my trembling legs into the church we were at.
When I got to a more secluded place, I lifted up my skirt to find my legs torn up and my knee starting to swell.
It was painful, but I was lucky.
I cleaned up as much as possible and pulled a couple of two-inch thorns out of my leg.
I thought I got them all out, but my legs were numb from the pain all over, so it was undistinguishable.
I traveled back to the states with a crazy story and my battle wounds (there still is the little kid
in me that is proud of them).
Now, more than five days later, I am finding pieces of Africa still in me… literally.
I pulled an inch-long thorn from my foot.
It was simply a bump that almost looked like a painful mosquito bite.
The skin had begun to seal it.
Another thorn in my flesh was very deep and surrounded by a painful wound that was becoming more infected because of the festering thorn.
That came out with a little more difficulty.
There are still some places where I think there are still thorns, but are too deep to get to right now.
There is a point to this graphic description (sorry to all the queasy readers).
Through this experience, God has shed new light on what Paul was referring to when he referred to the thorn in his flesh.
• Thorns often come from painful circumstances or events.Although it may have caused great pain, we may have walked away like we weren't hurt.
It isn't until we survey the past and look at our wounds that we see the damage.
• It may not be until much later, after the "initial clean-up" that we discover the deep thorns.
They can look very different.
Some are neatly covered, others are open and infected.
• It is not easy taking thorns out.
Sometimes you have to dig deep, and have someone with experience and expertise help.
• Sometimes they just have to work themselves out.Even with hard work, it may cause more damage to take them out.
They will naturally work themselves out in time, as long as you take care of the wound and do not irritate them.
• Even though properly taken care of, the aftermath still hurts.There is still healing to be done after the thorn is removed.
• Sometimes the thorn will leave a scar.Although it doesn't hurt or affect you anymore, the scar remains a part of you.
Whether to remind you of the healing that has taken place, or to remind you of your own weakness, or as a lesson to others, it now serves a good purpose.
Whatever thorns life's circumstances have brought us, there is always a process for healing.
Most of the time, the process is painful and difficult.
But it is well worth it!
We may diligently seek its removal, but to no avail.
God's grace is sufficient, for His strength is made perfect in our weakness!
It was a warm, sunny day… not too abnormal in
Africa.
We found ourselves trekking through winding paths blocked by cattle and goats, being led by three young boys.
Patrick (a staff member in
Swaziland) had asked me to come with him to pray for a woman that was very sick.
I put down my shovel and gave my blistered hands a break from building a playground at AIM's orphanage-in-progress.
We set off on our short journey with one of the girls on the FYM team, Christy.
About a half an hour later, we found ourselves at a homestead consisting of 6 traditional round houses with thatched roofs.
Although these are common in the rural area, I felt like I had been transported to a distant land, secluded from the effects of the western world.
After being greeted by another family member, we found the woman we came to see.
She came slowly from around the other side of the house, holding the wall for support.
Her face lit up when she saw us.
She had met Patrick before and was excited to see "her friend" (as she repeatedly referred to him).
We sat down on a grass mat with her and tried to communicate as much as possible, using a young eight-year old boy as a translator.
After some small talk, she invited us into her house (one room with three mattresses inside) to pray for her.
There was another woman inside with her child, probably another family member.
The first thing I noticed, however, was the ornate sticks on piled on the side of the wall.
I knew they served a purpose, but I didn't know exactly what.
We sat down on the floor, laid hands on her chest, feet and head and began to pray.
She has TB and probably HIV.
She is a single mother of two and has no means of income.
Unfortunately, her situation is not uncommon.
As we were praying, I was constantly being drawn to the passage about the woman who touched Jesus' garment as he was walking by and was healed of her illness because of her faith.
I read the passage aloud, although I knew she wouldn't understand English.
Although she talked as though she knew Jesus, I sensed a deep darkness in the room.
I couldn't explain it at the time.
She was a pleasant younger woman, but there was a deep emptiness I sensed other than her illness and circumstances.
As we left, two men came out from a small round house to greet us.
Patrick greeted him as "pastor" and I was a bit surprised.
What was the cause if this looming darkness I sensed?
When we got back to the construction site, it all came together.
Patrick explained that the man we had met was a Zionist pastor.
The house we were in was used as a Zionist church and the sticks against the wall were used in the services.
The Zionist church in
Swaziland is a twisted syncretistic denomination that claims Christianity, but focuses a lot on spiritism and animal manifestation.
It is a wide-sweeping movement, consisting of mostly house churches, that is certainly a sign of the spiritual darkness of this supposedly Christian nation.
Although some Zionist churches are genuinely Christian in their practices in doctrine, an overwhelming number of them are not.
Admittedly, my knowledge of the Zionist church is limited, but the feelings I had when praying for that woman are indescribable and go beyond understanding.
After this experience, my trip in
Swaziland was changed.
I began to feel that darkness in many other places and my heart grieved for the sheep that are being led astray.
This morning, I woke up to this memory penetrating my soul, remembering this woman and so many like her, male and female alike.
Although their beliefs are a choice, I question whether they truly know the Truth and have had the opportunity to accept it.
I don't claim to know the mind of God and know why things happen, but I do know that there is spiritual warfare beyond our comprehension.
Does that account for the physical situation of many in
Swaziland?
I don't know.
But I do know that there is much more than physical suffering in this land.
Please pray for the healing of
Swaziland, not just physically, but more importantly, spiritually.
Genuine hope in Jesus Christ can withstand any suffering.
These people need the Truth!
After thirty hours of traveling, I am back on Georgia soil! I arrived yesturday morning after a slight delay. After trying to stay up all day, I finally crashed... hard! I slept for about 14 hours. I obviously needed some sleep.
To recap from my last update in Swaziland, the womens' camp was a huge success! We had about 30-35 women in attendance. Most of these women were the volunteers at the care points and ranged in age from about 22-70 years. Our "schedule" (if you can call it that on Africa time) consisted of meetings with worship, testimony and teaching, crafts (such as tie-dye, sewing and basket-making), and games. It was so fun to see the women come alive in the games. They got really involved and excited (some got a bit competitive). It was hilarious just to sit back and watch!
The theme of the retreat was "Created with a Purpose." We focused on each individual's unique purpose and how it works together for God's big pupose! I feel like it was a great theme for these women and trust that God's truth would resound in the hearts of His children as they seek to apply the lessons learned to their everyday lives.
The life of a woman is not easy in Swaziland. As mentioned in an earlier entry, they are extremely hard workers and
are not spared from hard labor, regardless of health, age or gender. Most days consist of cooking, cleaning, caring for children, gardening, working in the field, collecting firewood, doing laundry (by hand, of course), collecting water, and many other exhausting tasks. Gratitude is rarely expressed, but hard work may often be reciprocated with complaints and abuse. My prayer and hope is that these women would come to truly stand on the love and acceptance of their Father and the community that God desires through the fellowship of the body of Christ.
Honestly, it is hard to be back in the U.S. It was hard to leave African soil again, not knowing excactly when i'll be back. Another African country has stolen my heart and I am anxious to get back.
Please be in prayer this Sunday, Monday and Tuesday as we are holding a womens' retreat. Most of the women who will be attending are volunteers at the care points. Pray for God to encourage them individually, renew spirits and create unity and love among the women. Also please pray for smooth communication through language and cultural barriers.
The retreat runs through Tuesday afternoon. I fly out of Manzini on Wednesday morning, so this will be my last few days of ministry here before going back to the states! This month has flown by, but it is encouraging to me that I am so sad to leave this place. I feel at home here and am so excited about the work that God is doing here.
Yesturday I met a group of women of supernatural strength. They are called "gogo's", which means grandmas. Julie has been meeting with these women for several months now and has been building relationships with them. They are a group of older women who volunteer at the care points in the area where AIM is based. Julia and I were both really excited about the meeting yesturday because it would be our first experiment in making a craft for the women's co-op we hope to get off the ground in the next few months.
As Julie started explaining how to make a card using African fabric, everyone soon became distracted by the large supply truck that was pulling in. They explained that they needed to unload the truck before going on. As the women got up, we decided to join and help. I didn't know exactly what I was getting myself into! The weathered skin and weary eyes of the women melted my heart, but they are not separated because of their age. We started to relieve the older women of some of the tougher posts, only to start aching myself. They worked tirelessly until all the bags of maize meal were unloaded.
In the end, we had unloaded 200 bags weighing 100 lbs each! That's 20,000 lbs of grain that 15 women unloaded in the hot African sun! No complaints, no excess breaks, just hard work! My young body was achy and exhausted. I felt for the older women who have been doing this literally back-breaking work all their lives. And now they volunteer to do it! What can compel this behavior but the love and strength of Jesus Christ!
As my back reminds me today of the events of yesturday, I have nothing but heigtened respect and admiration for the women I hope to serve here. We come to teach and yet we are the ones being taught sometimes!
For the past week or so, I have been staying out in the rural area (outside of Manzini). it has been a great experience for me. The culture is quite different, and I have found that I am more fond of the rural culture. As I have interacted with the Swazi people, I am reminded of how blessed I am and how much I take for granted.
Last week, I went with Katy (one of the other staff members here in Swaziland) to take a woman, Tulie, and her sick child to the hospital. The small baby was so weak, it seemed like it could barely lift its arms. We took them to a local clinic to get see a doctor and get some medicine. We got pushed to the front of the line because Katy was a "sister" (sharing the same Swazi surname) with one of the nurses. In about an hour, we were on our way.
Our stomachs growling, we headed to a local supermarket to pick up some lunch. Katy and I grabbed a pre-made sandwich (costing about $1 USD each) and offered to buy Tulie one as well. Rather than take what probably would have been a rare treat for herself, she quietly asked if she could buy a loaf of bread to feed her family.
Tulie is a widow who is left with a family and HIV to take care of. She was forced to marry her brother-in-law in accordance with Swazi tradition. She does not love this man, and he refuses to let her youngest child stay on his land. Daily, she fights battles beyond my comprehension.
God has been reminding me in light of this experience that he does, in fact, take care of His children even when we don't understand a situation. Matthew 6:25-34... the sparrows, the lillies of the field, His children, they are all under His watchful eye! Please pray for the people of Swaziland... that this truth may resound in their lives!
I must reiterate that I am falling in love with this country. I have finally moved out to the more rural area where the First Year Missionary Team is. I am staying in a guest room on one of the homesteads. It's a but posche, but that's okay for me. And that is rather relative... still no shower or kitchen or anything. But it's great! I am so blessed to be here!
I am definitely getting a taste of Swazi living as I am here. Plans don't always work out and almost nothing is done on time. But as I am out in the rural area, I am getting to know the culture a lot more and getting to interact with the people more.
I am excited to get more involved in ministry here and build relationships, with the Swazi people, as well as the FYM team. Please pray for wisdom for time management to make the most of my time here, continued quality time to build relationships with the staff here, and for clarity of vision as God reveals how He wants to use me in what He is doing here in Swaziland.
It has been a long time since my last update. A lot has been going on since I returned from Swaziland. In June, I moved back up to Philly for what was supposed to be a two-month trip to raise the last of my funds for Africa. It's now been five months and I'm still here! I picked up two jobs: barista by day, server by night and the rest of the time I'm sleeping. 
in me that is proud of them).
To recap from my last update in Swaziland, the womens' camp was a huge success! We had about 30-35 women in attendance. Most of these women were the volunteers at the care points and ranged in age from about 22-70 years. Our "schedule" (if you can call it that on Africa time) consisted of meetings with worship, testimony and teaching, crafts (such as tie-dye, sewing and basket-making), and games. It was so fun to see the women come alive in the games. They got really involved and excited (some got a bit competitive). It was hilarious just to sit back and watch!
are not spared from hard labor, regardless of health, age or gender. Most days consist of cooking, cleaning, caring for children, gardening, working in the field, collecting firewood, doing laundry (by hand, of course), collecting water, and many other exhausting tasks. Gratitude is rarely expressed, but hard work may often be reciprocated with complaints and abuse. My prayer and hope is that these women would come to truly stand on the love and acceptance of their Father and the community that God desires through the fellowship of the body of Christ.
Yesturday I met a group of women of supernatural strength. They are called "gogo's", which means grandmas. Julie has been meeting with these women for several months now and has been building relationships with them. They are a group of older women who volunteer at the care points in the area where AIM is based. Julia and I were both really excited about the meeting yesturday because it would be our first experiment in making a craft for the women's co-op we hope to get off the ground in the next few months.